How I Planned My Wedding In Less Than 6 Months and the Steps I Took
Wedding Planning is STRESSFUL! EVERYONE has an opinion on what you should do and when. But I’m going to give you the order of steps I did, and I’ll try to explain why I did it in that order/that way. The order of steps varies depending on your financial situation, timeline, etc., but this is how I found it to be the easiest to plan.
The first step (in my opinion) is to create a rough guest list - each partner’s friends, family (extended if you’d like), and immediate. Find what would be the maximum number of people you would have at your venue. This will show you what size venues to look at, make you start culling down your list of potential guests, and you can start price hunting for venues and other vendors.
Step Two - This one isn’t as important in the order, again, it’s just what we did. We considered all potential dates that were significant to us (dating anniversary, engagement anniversary, first “I love you”, first date, first met, etc.) We picked the date one year after our engagement but had to postpone due to the Panini. Thankfully, the date we ended up moving to was the weekend we had first met (Labor Day). If none of these dates seem appealing or are available, consider what time of year you’d like to get married. This can range from specific months to general seasons. I would advise you to pay attention to the typical wedding season as those dates will be the first to book and will also be the most expensive!
Step Two and a half - Play around with your vision for the big day. This can be an ongoing process throughout your planning, but this is a really important thing. Odds are your Pinterest from middle/high school doens’t necessarily match your vision you have now. This will come in handy for cakes, decorations, shoes, photography and more! Look at Pinterest and Instagram (or your enemies Facebook Page if applicable). This will help you determine the formality of your wedding, themes, colors, and the above-mentioned things too!
Step Three- Price Hunt, I’d suggest starting with venues and churches (if that’s your kind of thing). First make sure they’re available, second see how they have things priced. Look at photographers, caterers, DJs, and their pricing. This is the prime time to go to wedding shows to get ideas and network with vendors. A lot will offer special pricing or bonuses for booking with them down the road if you meet them at a show. We got extra time AND special uplighting from our DJ for free! Any possible vendor that will be part of your day you’re going to want to call and get an idea on the pricing. For me, I went ahead and booked my hair team at this point, but you can do this in a later portion of the planning process.
TIP- This is specific to venues, but… Pay attention to how they price things. Some venues throw in extra fees or intentionally exclude certain items and services so they can upcharge you! What are their fees (service, servers, bar, linen, silverware/flatware, real China vs disposable plastic, etc.)? Do they have a minimum price you have to meet? How do they calculate it, is it per person? Some prices can vary baby-adult, so price it as if everyone is an adult so you can be sure you meet this minimum first, then calculate the pricing for kids and adults, so you know the difference in pricing. Do they charge by the hour, and what is their average time for weddings (most are usually around the 4–6-hour mark, but you may be able to pay an additional amount for more time). We’ll get more in-depth with venues later, but when price hunting this is important to think about ahead of your visit, so you know what to ask about.
Step Four- What is most important to you and your partner for your big day? Think of 5 things and narrow them down to three. What are the things you’re willing to spend the most money from your budget on? For us, it was 1. The venue, 2. Photographer (this is how we’ll look back on our day for the rest of our lives and I had a very specific style in mind) and 3. DJ (We wanted a party).
Step Five- This is when you’d decide on the budget or at least start thinking about it depending on your situation. Are parents/grandparents chipping in for the big day? If so, how much are they willing to pitch in? How much can you afford to pitch in? How much can you save up for the big day? Are you taking out a small loan for the big day and paying it off later? All of these are important to think about, but now you can see why I suggested price hunting earlier on. You have an idea about how much your venue will cost, the average cost of photographers, hair/makeup, DJ, and caterer etc. Use the maximum on the average scale and apply it to your budget to see the most you’ll spend and find your sweet spot from there. Budget out the whole thing and then budget out per vendor, what are you willing to spend for each one?
Step Six- Now is when we get the venue stress out of the way, Yay! This can be the easiest step but is usually the most daunting. If you have a date in mind, are they available? If you have a budget already for the venue, do they meet it? See my previous tip at the top for venue pricing. Do they fit your needs? Our venue for example had catering done in-house, offered their own bar packages (it was a winery and distillery), linens were included, plastic faux China plates and plastic flatware was all included too! They priced everything as the minimum you had to spend. Our initial date was outside of wedding season, so it was roughly $3,000 for their small room. When we postponed, we ended up adding to our guest list and needed the larger space which was available for our new date, and it bumped up our minimum to $5,000. We were close between kids and adults on food, with the added bar package plus two hours we were right at our minimum! I think we ended up a little over after the wedding and owed about $1200 from the bar bill at the end. But we were able to get in a day early to decorate (thank Chuthulu), AND we didn’t have to worry about finding a caterer, finding a bar company, paying for event insurance (yes that’s a thing some venues require you to find). They took care of virtually everything which was super nice!
Finding and officially signing for the venue means two big details are done, 1. you have your venue, 2. now you have your date set! Now you can continue booking all your other vendors.
Step Seven- I’m going to put this step as planning your ceremony, but this can be done in a few ways, and I’ll try to address it!
If you’re planning to have a church wedding - now is when you’ll want to reach out to your church of choice and see if they’re available to do your ceremony. For those who may be catholic or have a partner who is, if you’re planning a catholic service, note you have a few steps you’ll need to take additionally. My husband comes from a very Catholic family, so we knew it would mean a lot if we had a Catholic ceremony, despite not having any Catholics in my family. Neither of us are particularly religious or anti-religion so this was more for the family. Since we were doing a catholic ceremony, we did a faux pas and chose a Priest at another church hoping we could have the ceremony at his family’s church of the last 60+ years, which unfortunately didn’t work out and that can probably be it’s own mini blog honestly. So we opted for our ceremony to be at this priest’s church which is a beautiful local church I’d sang in a few times, so I wasn't to upset we had to do it elsewhere. One of the things you get to do is paperwork basically saying you’re doing this out of your own free will, you’re not first cousins (they will check this btw) and that, should you have children, they’ll be raised in a Catholic home. Then, the day of the wedding/at the rehearsal your parents get to fill out similar papers saying you weren’t coerced into doing this. On top of this you’ll have to take a marriage preparation class. For us this was a 4-hour day on a Saturday where we talked about all thing’s marriage- family planning, communication, how to bring faith into your marriage etc.
If you’re not planning a particular church-related ceremony you can ignore everything above. You can always of course use a church as your venue for your ceremony or some venues offer specially dedicated ceremony spaces. Our venue offered this for an extra $1500 and you can decorate it however you wanted. You could have it inside your reception hall, you can do this virtually anywhere.
On top of venue, I’d recommend lumping in finding and securing your officiant too. This can be literally anyone, religious or not, you can have a friend become solemnized online in like an hour or less and they can legally marry you! But make sure they know this ahead of time.
Step Eight - The biggest things are done; the date is set and now you have your two big venues - reception and ceremony. Now is the time you’re going to want to start booking all your other vendors to get them secured. Vendors include a Photographer, Videographer, Florist, DJ, Caterer, and any other type of food or entertainment you plan to have at your reception. This would also include hair and makeup peeps too if that’s applicable.
This is when you’ll want to start piecing together the big day, when will certain vendors be arriving or delivering goods and services? Start with hair and makeup working backwards from the time of the ceremony, how much time will you need to be ready one hour before the ceremony? Work down the list from there. This is also a good time to start thinking about if you want any getting ready pictures too.
Step Nine- Here comes the more fun stuff! Bridal Party - You can do this at any point between the above listed tasks or you can do it here with the fun stuff! Now is when you’ll want to determine your bridal party if you haven’t already and ask them! I have some mixed opinions on the new trendy ways to ask your bridal party, which will probably be in another blog. But know that you can literally call them and ask them or ask in person if possible.
Step Ten- Dress/Suit/TUx Shopping: Here is one of the most fun but equally humbling moments in wedding planning. The wedding dress industry isn’t very size inclusive- a wedding dress size is usually two sizes smaller than a street size. So, you might be like me and be an 8-12 in normal street clothes but have to order a 16 in your wedding dress and alter it down in places where it’s needed. I have a whole list of tips and tricks for wedding dress shopping that I’ll do in another post, but I’ll do a shortened version.
Try on every silhouette and neckline and work your way down from there, THEN try on styles you like (classic satin, lace, sequined, chiffon etc.) Spend some time on Pinterest, I recommend starting an all-new Board for your wedding with what you like most now, because there’s a high chance it won’t match what you liked in 2013.
This is also when you’d want to decide on Suit vs. Tuxedo, how formal do you want your wedding party/wedding to be overall if you have not decided already. In our case, my husband only had one request for our big day, and it was that he wore a Navy Suit. This will also help you decide on color scheme and flowers.
Step Eleven- Color scheme and theme, it’s time to decide what your color scheme will be and if you want your wedding to have a theme. Moving forward this will impact your decorations and bridesmaid dress colors. This can be determined by the suit vs. Tuxedo or you can decide this earlier on up with step 2.5.
Step Twelve- Bridesmaid Dresses (or jumpsuits/outfits in general). What color, fabric and style are you looking for? What is the vision here? Do you like the look when they all have the same dress? Do you like the look of mis-matched dresses? Do you want to be the one who decides what dress they wear, or do you want to let them pick it out? Let me tell you, I picked the color and the fabrics (we got them all from Dessy.com) and let the girls take it from there and it was the least stressful part of planning. I wanted everyone to wear what matched their personalities and what they felt good in. As someone who’s been a bridesmaid there are few things worse than being in a dress that’s unflattering and obviously picked for someone else OR paying for a dress that’s not your style and you’ll clearly never wear again. By letting them choose their own fabric and style they all looked amazing and felt more confident day of and each one got so many compliments on their look because it was THEM! This took so much stress off of me and the pics look great! I was lucky enough that my bridal boutique also carried the line so girls could try on different dresses and see how they fit and get measured correctly for the dress too.
Another piece about Dessy I loved, they have so many styles and options for different dresses like maternity, junior bridesmaid, and flower girls etc., BUT they also had ties and vests to match every color they offer. I ended up getting my husband, the groomsman, dads, and grandpas all the correct matching-colored ties and it made the photos look so good! We also had a bridesmaid who was in the military that initially wasn’t able to make it but had a last-minute change to her ship schedule and we were able to get her dress in less than 3 weeks!
Step Thirteen- Pick out your wedding bands! Who knows how long they’ll take but it’s better to have them picked out now and be ready to go!
Step Fourteen - Decorations, this can be tricky and stressful but know there are a few ways to “hack this” a big one that I used was Etsy Printable/Editable Signs, Programs, and timelines! I purchased and downloaded several templates for signs off of etsy and either hand traced them on acrylic or had them printed at the UPS store and I cannot recommend that enough. It was so cheap and easy, it made everything tie in so well!
First decide what kind of look you want for centerpieces - this is where color schemes will come into play. How do you want to tie in the color scheme? Do you want flowers for centerpieces on every table? Do you want to have a few diverse types of centerpieces? Do you want books? Do you want candles? Tall or short centerpieces? etc.
Next, what decorative extra tables do you want, you may want to consult with your coordinator at the venue to make sure this can happen or ask what type of tables they’ve had at previous weddings. Do you want a gift and card table? Do you want it decorated? Do you want a memorial table? How do you want it decorated? Do you want an extra table for your photobooth for people to sit their drinks and purses down on? Do you want to have a table for your guest book? How big of a table do you need for it? Where do you want these tables to be located? Do you want to have some cocktail tables? How do you want them decorated? Do you want the bar decorated?
Tip: QuickCandles.com for your candle and decor needs, I was able to buy almost 300 votive candles fairly cheap! Not to mention I bought several votive candle holders too! They have a lot of decors to match your needs. Did I mention I got over 40 octagon mirrors for my centerpieces for under $200! (yes, wedding decor can be that expensive)
Another tip- check wedding pages on Facebook and Facebook marketplace! There might be someone selling your exact colors and items you’re looking for for a reasonable price. Check here before you go to building from scratch there may be a few pieces you could use. If you’ve already been married and are reading this for fun and are like me and still have miscellaneous wedding decore, check out these places to possibly sell your leftover items!
Tip 3: Cricuit! Find someone you know with one that can help or buy one yourself if you find a good deal. There are hundreds of thousands of ways to use a circuit that can help you with your decor!
Step Fifteen- Planning out your ceremony - this can be skimmed over especially if you’re not having a religious ceremony. Meet with your person to decide what type of vows you want to do and how you want to do them. Are you writing some of your own? Do you want to repeat after them? Do you want them to break up the vows a bit more? What kind of music are you planning to have? If this is a catholic ceremony, someone from the church will likely reach out with some scripture options and some music you can pick from, this breaks it down SO MUCH!
Step Sixteen- Accessories, if you have not already done so, here is when you’ll want to purchase your wedding day accessories. Lingerie (if applicable), shoes, veils, jewelry etc. If you have accessories, you want your bridal party to wear, I recommend buying them now as well. For me, I bought my bridesmaids earrings and robes for the big day and the boys got a mini liquor of what they normally drink, socks and their ties.
Step Seventeen - Self-Care and Trials. Want to have that bridal glow and a little color but didn’t make it outside much or to the tanning bed? Get a spray tan! I highly recommend getting a spray tan trial at least one month in advance to try and see how it wears, how it fades and get the color exactly right. If you’re picky on your spray tan, maybe go 2 or 3 times before the big day! You’ll want to do some kind of trial for EVERYTHING before the big day. i got a cut and color 1.5 months out and then a color and bang trim one week from the wedding to make sure my hair looked its best! Nails, hairstyles for the big day, all of this you’ll want to do at least one trial run. If you have a veil, you’ll want to bring it with you!
Tip: If you can time it out right try to do your hair and makeup on the same day so you know how you’ll look all together. Sometimes it can be hard to visualize the full look, so even better try to have a dress fitting day of so you can see the entire look together!
Another thing, fittings, bring your shoes and jewelry to your last 2-3 fittings if possible!
Step Eighteen- Now it’s time to put the draft day of plan together We are even closer, if you haven’t started planning out your day yet, (which I’d really recommend starting with vendors, how is when you’ll put it all together!) What time is the ceremony? What would be one hour before? That’s when you’ll want to be 100% ready and be at the venue. (I made it less than 10 minutes to my ceremony and was SWEATING IT).
This is also when you’ll want to pick out and order your invitations!
Start with hair and makeup and work your way down the list, include when you’ll want certain vendors to arrive. (Have MOH or better yet, dads be the ones meeting and greeting vendors as they arrive. Dads can get the flowers, get the food, etc and bring it to your room or hand it off to MOH/mom. etc.
When is the photographer and/or videographer showing up? How ready do you want to be when they show up? Do you want getting ready shots? They can be taking detail shots while you do minor things depending on your shot list.
Tip: I got a couple of printable versions off of etsy to help do this. One included adding parents, best man and MOH, coordinator and/or planner contact info that will prevent people from contacting you about everything you’ve already given them and told them. This will happen no matter what.
The day of plan should be as detailed as possible down to when everyone should be getting dressed to getting in cars and leaving with arrival times.
Step-Nineteen- You’ll want to have sent out all invitations, make sure to have all RSVP’s due 2 weeks before the wedding! Most people say 6-12 weeks before the big day, if you didn’t do Save the Dates, aim for that 10–12-week mark.
Step Twenty - It’s really starting to be real, finalize of your day-of plan, you’ll want to put together too! This should start around the rehearsal time and work through the weekend. Give 30-minute timeframes of 30 min before x event when someone will be there so nobody is late. Also provide addresses for rehearsal and rehearsal dinner and the venues you’ll be going to for the weekend.
Step Twenty-One - Details, Details, Details. Will you be providing breakfast and/or lunch for the bridal party while everyone gets ready? What are you planning to feed them? What kind of snacks should you pack for everyone? Make your emergency day-of kit (don’t skip out on makeup wipes, stain remover wipes and bandaids!). These should all be handled at least 2 weeks before the big day. You’ll also want to have your shot list ready to go and sent to the photographer and/or videographer! Make sure to have a day of plan, weekend itinerary and shot list printed
Step-Twenty-Two- Follow-up on any outstanding RSVPs and finalize your headcount for vendors.
Step Twenty-Three - Make a list of all your decorations and take pictures so everyone knows what belongs to you vs what belongs to the venue! Who is setting up for the big day? Who is taking down what? Have friends, family or vendors help if possible so you can go home and spend time with your new spouse! Figure out an overall game plan for who will take the gifts, the cards, guest book, games, and anything else that will be going to the venue.
Also take pictures of how you want things to be set up so those putting it together know your vision!
Step Twenty - Four - Send all vendors your guest count.
Step Twenty- Five- Get your rings cleaned! They’re going to be in a lot of pictures!
Step Twenty-Six- Enjoy your wedding week! Live in bliss and try not to stress along the way. Know that things will go wrong, but it will work out in the end! If you can. have someone bossy in charge to help with the flow of the day-of and make sure you get through your shotlist.
Step Twenty-Seven- GET HITCHED!
These were the steps we took in planning our wedding. Aside from the last-minute things and details like decorations all major plans were made in under 6 months. Thanks to COVID we had to make some adjustments to our timeline, decorations and a few details which extended our planning time a bit. Know that many of these items can be combined or switched around to fit your timeline, this was just how we did it and it worked for us. I hope this was remotely helpful in your planning process. Congratulations on your engagement and wedding and I wish you the best!
